I met my younger selves for coffee. 

I arrived a few seconds late. The rest were a few minutes late. 

All stand awkwardly in the doorway for a moment before spotting the table. 

I hug my fourteen year old self, who has just discovered the true magic of writing, and that writing a book is something she can do. 

I hug my nineteen year old self, who is in complete burnout and ready to stop writing all together. 

I hug myself from a few years ago, who is struggling so hard with her WIP and all of the doubts. 

Fourteen year old me asks the first question. “Do we have a book published?”

“We just signed our first contract.”

She squeals ecstatically. I look at my nineteen year old self and squeeze her hand. “You’ll love writing again. You’ll regain your spark.”

I smile at myself from a few years ago. “The book we got a contact for? It’s the one you’re working on.” Her shock and surprise makes me smile wider. 

“The journey hasn’t been what we’ve expected. But it has been good. God has been good.”

I look at them all in turn. “It’s harder than you think it will be. The doubts, the struggles—they never go away. We wonder for a long time if we’re really meant to be a writer or if we should do something else. But we keep at it—you keep at it. And we really learn to trust in the providence of God and His sovereignty over the small things like writing and publishing.” 

Soon enough, it’s time to leave. I start farewells with my fourteen year old self. “Thank you for learning how to write a novel, and continuing to learn and write.”

To my nineteen year old self—“Thank you for pressing on and for not giving up.”

Finally, I once again hug myself from a few years ago. “Thank you for pouring into and wrestling with this story.”

I glance at the empty chair left at our table and wish that my future self was here too, ready to impart a snippet of wisdom to me. But learning and growing is part of the journey. All of us will have to figure things out on our own. 

I know that the advice I gave to my younger selves is one that I still need. Whatever lies ahead will be hard. I’ll likely make mistakes. Doubts will probably still plague me. 

But I want to love this journey God has me on, with all its ups and downs. I want to be faithful in it. And I want to trust Him, whatever happens.